Do you remember the fateful day you went back home to visit your parents and discovered they’d turned your bedroom into a sewing room, or a study or just “the spare room”? The posters were gone, the shag carpet, and suddenly it wasn’t your home anymore.
That’s kind of like what happened when I arrived in Taroudant.
The last time I’d been there was in 1989, five years after finishing up my Peace Corps stint in Morocco. At the time, five years seemed like a long time. I remember walking into my favorite café and being surprised to find the chief of police, the café owner and two of their cronies sitting at the same table they’d occupied the day I’d left, playing—I swear—the same card game. The police chief looked up when I came in, nodded and remarked, “Eh, eh, eh, fin radi?” (Where have you been?)—as if I’d been gone a few weeks instead of five years. During that visit, I ran into a few of my former students, caught up with some old friends and left Taroudant much as I’d found it when I first arrived in 1981.
Fast forward twenty years. Once again I returned to Taroudant and within five minutes I thought my head was going to explode. Whatever delusions I’d had about change coming slow—if at all—to places like Taroudant were dispelled the instant I walked down the street where I’d once lived—and was unable to recognize my own front door. Was it the one over by what was now a driving school? Or possibly the one between the patisserie and the cell phone shop, neither of which had existed in my time? Or maybe it was part of the block that had been turned into the Hotel Atlas. There didn’t used to be a Hotel Atlas.
Even more shocking—the streets were paved! Every last one of them. And where there had once been long stretches of blank wall, or mud corrals for donkeys and chickens or an olive oil press, suddenly there were rows of shops—many of them selling cell phones, or offering internet services. PlayStation 2? In TAROUDANT?
The place where I used to buy my vegetables had been turned into a motorcycle showroom (Hondimoto anyone? They promise “Japan High Technology”). The main square, Place Asserag, was completely lined with tourist shops and cafes—I could barely identify the one I’d once frequented; it had remodeled itself and now looked more like a Euro-snack bar than my beloved Moroccan café. It had even switched out the old squat toilets for sit-down models—no doubt for the benefit of the tourists (of which there had been practically none when I lived there).
I spent my first day feeling deeply unsettled and even a little put out. How dare this seminal place in my life change one iota from how it had once been! I kept searching the faces of passersby, wondering if I might run across a former student—but realized I was looking at kids who are in school now. My students would be in their forties. I went back to our hotel and lay down on the bed, hyperventilating. Everything had changed! This wasn’t my Taroudant anymore!
But when I woke up in the morning and took a stroll around the ancient city walls that have stood since 1076, I realized that my time here—those three short years—were no more than a tiny blip—a slight hesitation, really—in the span of centuries that separated then from now. The city itself had risen and fallen and risen again many times within those walls, and generations of people far more connected with it than I had faded unremembered into the past.
I guess Thomas Wolfe was right that you can’t go home again; at least, not if you expect to still find the Bruce Springsteen posters on the wall and the PRIVATE: KEEP OUT sign on the bedroom door. But if you’re willing to admit that the new wallpaper isn’t half bad, and hardwood floors really are an improvement over that red shag rug you insisted on when you were sixteen...well, it may not be home anymore, but it’s a nice place to visit.
So B’salaama for now, Taroudant. May we meet again, someday, Inshallah!
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